It's been a long time coming. I'm making this way more dramatic than I wanted.

Things I've learned:
Patience is the most important thing when you don't have a lot of options. You have to know how to separate important things with everything else. For example, my life is about to change in a huge way within the next few months. I've been waiting for this it seems like my whole life, but it's definitely been worth it.

Reaction is everything. Of course, planning is also but you can't expect everything to go as planned. How you handle unexpected things is an important aspect of your character. I've been learning how to do this and I can honestly say I'm getting better at it.

It is not important what most other people think. I made this journal thinking my only readers will be my really close friends. I ended up having a lot of people I don't really care about read this and they're the ones that end up misunderstanding me. I end up sounding crazy, constantly depressed or like an angry person. I appreciate my friends that aren't on LJ but still read this. It saved me the trouble of actually talking.

Actually talking is better.

I appreciate privacy. I know way too much about people. Some people know way too much (skewed) information about me.

Things are changing for me. I will finally start (and be forced to) take care of myself from now on. Things in life are starting to make sense. I don't panic as much in tough situations anymore. I've learned to live with certain things. I'm starting to grow hair in weird places.

There are some people out there that you can depend on. There won't be very many of them in your lifetime. Please don't take them for granted. I can honestly say that for some of you reading this, I'm one of those people.

This is starting to sound like a suicide note lol. I'M NOT AN ANGRY OR SAD PERSON!! :)
And if that smiley face doesn't prove it, just watch me in person. I don't have slit wrists and I'm more ready to give someone a high five rather than punch them in the face.

A lot of my entries just ended up that way. I usually put them on friends only if it were something I don't want the whole world reading. Apparently that doesn't matter anyway since it's impossible to keep people's mouths shut. Thanks a lot, by the way.

But I digress. At some points, I ended up thinking that I really was just a really emo person. I felt like that's who I was and the other parts of me were just fake. I'd start over with some people if I could but for some of you, I like that you know I'm not such a one-dimensional person. It's what being human is all about.

Here's my new blog
http://jamminbread10.blogspot.com/
RSS: http://jamminbread10.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default (good and easy way to subscribe)
It's going to be mostly YouTube stuff. Don't expect anything so personal.

Good bye, childhood. I thought I said "bye" a while ago, but you've been lingering.
Take that, society.

I find it stupid that I run out of underwear so fast.

I guess I'm going commando to badminton tomorrow.

Here's my YouTube RSS Feed just in case you guys like RSS

http://gdata.youtube.com/feeds/api/users/jamminbread/uploads?orderby=updated

You can also use it for other people's channels. Just replace "jamminbread" with another user name!


It's funny that Aubrey didn't expect so many replies. This was hella fun to make and fun to watch others do.

Also, I'm working on a video using footage from YouTube Live. I'm just running into some obstacles. It should be done by Sunday.

I hate being confused and in the dark. When things clear up, even if it's not for the better, I feel better.

Anyways. I'm obviously not paying attention in class right now. I just want to get my take home test in my next class and go home. Actually, I should go to Jmic's house and record the song I made up the other day. This is gonna be epic. Hopefully I don't suck at singing today.

Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention. My new year's resolution is to quit LiveJournal. Is it weird? Yes. Do I have my reasons? Yes.

Video camera
Line 6 POD Studio
Condenser Mic
Mouse
New hoodies
New shoes (who knew my feet would still keep growing at 21?)
Love potions (or maybe just one really potent one)

Let's edit

Love potions make things easier. I don't have to go through the usual process, which works, but I never seem to follow when I'm legitimately interested in a girl.

I'm a nice guy. Fuck.

CHEUCHOOTRAIN: dude i have so much hw
CHEUCHOOTRAIN: and i really want to shower
CHEUCHOOTRAIN: but its so far
ja4x12lp: dude just do what i do
ja4x12lp: neither

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2004295&l=00457&id=1046190023

or

http://picasaweb.google.com/johnnyjumpsmash/200811Nov22

Also met but didn't take a picture with:
Davedays and Chris C
LisaNova
and probably other people that I didn't recognize.

I'm feeling a video/photo montage. I'll do it tomorrow while I'm procrastinating my homework.

I don't want to go to class this whole week.

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=665847

Just read it.

Azn Pryde. Yeah right.
Bitch needs to shut up
Cock
Dickwad
Emotesticle
Falcooonnn PUUNCHH!!!
G-spot
Hoe
It's a trap!
Jungle love. Oh wee oh wee oh. I think I wanna know ya (know ya).
Kthxbye
Lesbi friends
Manbearpig
NINTENDO 64!!!!!!!!!!
O rly?
Pokemon
Queen of queef
Rick roll
Sex bomb
Trogdor
Uvula
Wanker
Xilophone
Ya rly
Zomg


Things I should stop saying "that's what she said" to
"Nice try"
"Next time"
"It's so small"
"Just use your hand"
"I can't feel anything"
"Finally"
"Already?"
"Don't make this so hard"
"I'm bored"

More to come



...that's what she said.

I tried doing this one without looking at myself. I had the monitor covered so I could maybe get a more natural capture. Meh. I think it ended up worse.

:) That was cute.

So here's something different.

A list of dumb shit I used to eat when I was a kid
Condensed milk (as a drink)
Condensed milk sandwiches
Butter and sugar sandwich
Paper
Sugar packets
Taco bell bean burritos with sugar in it
Worm (notice it's singular)
Poo
Gum


I hate bunk beds.

I know what it's like to feel unwanted, incapable and alone. I also know what it's like to want privacy.

It's like everything is a really bad dream. You wish the next scene would be a romantic one under the stars or surrounded by palm trees.

Just when things only seem to be getting better, you realize someone is lying and your reason to believe is gone.

A few days go by and it finally sets in. You finally realize you were the only one keeping up with the dream you thought you both had. It's hard to pretend anymore and there's a million things you want to say, but it's not until you get the courage to say those things that you become a man.

So you pick up a pen and organize your thoughts. Your thought process is still blurred but it's the thought that counts, right? All the while, the only one you feel you can trust is by your side trying to steady your hand and head.

The night you go to her window she's gone. You give up hope and all is lost. This isn't a happy ending.

(Am) Find your way to your (F)pews; we'll pass the flame and teach you to
(C)Break their hearts and take a swing and (G)follow through.
(Am)Rationality and (F)vain are in a fight; we're (C)on our way

Lift the weight that rips the world apart; your life is measured in the strength
that you have to use to see it from the start.
All too eager to douse the flames with crosses and the people you've bent.
Never will you learn the love that heals and learns to give and take.

(Am)Our fickle lives and lustful (F)heads buried deep in a world we (C)see instead.(G)
(Am)The hypocrites will choose the (F)song that they want to hear as they (C)go along with the (G)blood that hates so easily.

Lift the weight that rips the world apart; your life is measured in the strength
that you have to use to see it from the start.
All too eager to douse the flames with crosses and the people you've bent.
Never will you learn the love that heals and learns to give and take.

Whatever. Probably unimportant.

http://www.kcra.com/california-proposition-8/index.html

What the fuck. If you look at the other maps, you kinda have an idea how many hypocrites are in California.

So I just uploaded a quick video onto YouTube. Can anyone say, "Flame on?"

Still waiting on the California Propositions results.

Note: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flame_war
just in case.

I'm so freaking hungry so what do I do? I look up what restaurants are giving free food today to celebrate Election Day.

In good news, the Steelers beat the Redskins, which is a good indication that Obama will win the election.

What the hell? Random ass news from a very random source. Pisses me off but it mostly just confuses me.

So I'm so sleepy right now. I just tried to pay for breakfast with my student ID card.